perfect man (meme)

the pefect manWhat is it with me and Sundays... I never end up doing anything with them, and before you know it they're over.

I haven't done a damn thing of interest today... sure I tidied up a bit earlier, and went out to get the paper, but other than that (plus watching a couple of Bond movies and working on this for a while), nada, zip, zilch.

I was flicking through the body+soul liftout in the paper (which is invariably full of cut down versions of whatever the latest health/beauty/relationship/self help advise happens to be, and therefore mostly crap... although I still flick through it every week, go figure).

The little sidebar attached to this week's "extract from the latest book on relationships" (in this case "Stop Wondering If You'll Ever Meet Him" by Ryan Browning Cassaday and Jessica Cassaday) did make me stop and pay attention... because I just can't go past a set of checkboxes...

And while this wasn't a quiz, but rather a set of "traits your ideal man should possess", I did find myself ticking the little boxes and trying to summon up the outline of the ideal man... then I spotted some questions in the text itself which could be illuminating... so I thought I'd share (plus, who knows, it could be a meme in the making)...

I know that I've mentioned on more than one occasion (although typically I can't find any of them to link to right at this precise moment) that I am/have been/want to return to being comfortable with being alone, I've been living on my own for a long time and honestly I'm fairly set in my ways (plus I know I'm can be a handful)... sometimes it's nice to fantasise about that mythical perfect person.

Choose 20 of the following attributes (both internal and external) that would describe ideal traits that you'd be thrilled to find in your perfect man:

  • Intelligent
  • Generous
  • Passionate
  • Polite
  • Sophisticated
  • Educated
  • Funny
  • Vulnerable
  • Well-endowed
  • Preppy
  • Rock-star chic
  • Businesslike
  • Liberal
  • Conservative
  • Artistic
  • Romantic
  • Honest
  • Trustworthy
  • Sensual
  • Adventurous
  • Family-minded
  • Muscular
  • Tall, dark and handsome
  • Laid back
  • Health-conscious
  • Rugged
  • Metrosexual
  • Articulate
  • Witty
  • Hedonistic
  • Outdoorsy
  • Stylish
  • Vegetarian
  • Lean or thin
  • Older
  • Younger
Complete these questions as honestly as you can:
  • I image that my perfect guy would love to do things like:
    As lame as it sounds, a lot of the things I do now with Ma, but without replacing Ma... shopping, going to the movies, going to see art, going out to dinner, he'd probably also have to love being in front of the camera because if he was all the things that I've checked off on my list then I'd probably take his photo a lot.

  • When we are together, I want him to treat me:
    I'm not sure how to answer this one (and shouldn't it be "I want us to treat each other"... it's not a one way street)... and all the answers that I can think of sound a bit crap (kindly or well). I guess the best I can come up with is that he would treat me like an equal, and I would do the same to him.

  • My vision of myself in this relationship is that when I'm with him I feel:
    Calm, brave, desired, kinder and whatever the polar opposite of jealous is (that last one could potentially be wishful thinking, but it would be nice).

  • It's important to me that I'm able to talk with him about things such as:
    Honestly, anything... I'm not fussed on politics or organised religions, but I'd want to be able to talk honestly and frankly on matters of sex (kinks, fantasies, what he likes, what I like, places, positions, etc) and quite likely I'd want to be able to have any number of conversations about how confusing all the relationship stuff would be for me.

  • What do I want from this man that I don't currently have in my life?
    Somebody who not only accepts me for the screwed up bundle of insecurities that I am, but also finds me attractive just the way I am and desires me.

  • What would he do to make me happy?
    Well, that would depend on whether or not he'd had gymnastic training... no, I kid (mostly)... He'd surprise me with random things (maybe flowers once in a blue moon, a homecooked meal, a sweet and thoughtful text message)... but I think if I didn't always have to make the first move and he also knew when to give me some space, then I'd be pretty happy.

  • What would be different about me if this perfect guy was in my life?
    I would like to think that I'd be more social (since I'd have somebody to do social things with), I'd be less abrasive/angry (because I'd have somebody calling me on all my crap when it happened) and I'd just generally be happy... and what more can you ask for than that?

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